Of Stilettos and Holy Affairs
by buggirl101
Summary: When Alessandro runs away on a stormy day, Isaak come out to play, Dietrich dreams of humiliation, and Cain laughs the day away. Yaoi fic. Crack pairings. Isaak/Alec, Petros/Cain
1. The Pope, Nun, and Angry Boy

Hello all! Anyway, this is my first attempt at a crack pairing. XD I introduce to you.....

Isaac/Alec! This fic's deticated to Lemonadder from youtube. You wanted it, you got it.

Anyway, WARNINGS!!! This fic contains some extremely light shonen-ai (Or a relationship between a man and a teenager.), crossdressing, and Trinity Blood being...well...Trinity Blood.

Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me. Except the idea of Sister Mary...that actually does belong to me.

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Alessandro the XVIII, His Holiness the Pope, or just plain Alec was currently running away. Again. He didn't how many times he had done this, and he really didn't care. When Francesco yelled at him, or Caterina shot him that disapproving look, he ran. Always, like a clock on a schedule.

Except, that this time, the clock would be wound up by a very special person. He didn't notice himself running through a rain soaked courtyard until he ran smack into a very soft but solid object. Alec made a noise simuler to a yelp as he fell, his snow white clothing getting coated in mud.

A deep chuckle reached his ears. He looked up, mud fell with a soft _clump_from his hair onto the ground. The person chuckled again. A tall, slender woman was bent down in front of him. She was wearing some design of a nun's uniform. It was a deep blue color with a white trim, she held a Victorian style umbrella which kept the rain from hitting himself.

She smiled at him, her blood red lips seemed out of place againest her pale ivory skin. " Are you alright?" She asked him, her voice was rather deep for a woman's. But it fit the aristrocrat-like nun. "Y-Yes, I'm f-fine. Thank y-you, Sister." Alec managed to sqeak out, nervousness instantly creeping into his system. The nun smiled, once again.

She looked around before carefully grabbing Alec and pulling him to his feet. " Come now, let's get you a change of clothes, you must be soaked." She pulled Alec into her side, holding the umbrella a little higher so they both would be covered. Alec blushed slightly, other then his Lady Sister he didn't have much contact with anyone, much less a woman.

"U-um..m..may I a-ask your n-name, sister?" Alec asked outloud, his voice stuttering much more then the usual. The sister smiled. He noted that unlike most people, she never showed her teeth, but it seemed to make the nun more beautiful...if that made any sense what-so-ever to anyone other then he himself...he didn't know.

" I'm Isaac, Mary Isaac." She glanced down at him as she answered, her asian shaped-eyes seemed black as night. He lowered his head, hoping his hair and collar would hide the quickly deepening blush he had. " M-Mary..." He repeated, letting the age-old name roll off his tongue.

They walked in complete silence for quite awhile, Alec barely noticed that somehow they weren't in the Vatican anymore. Mary suddenly stopped, Alec lost in his own little world, ran smack into a large door. He stumbled back letting out a soft noise of indigence. Soft hands caught him. Mary turned him around; that ever present smile was twitching upward like she wanted to laugh.

Alec felt extremely embarassed, and his already deep red blush, grew into a darker crimson shade. "Are you alright..I'm sorry I should of warned you that we were here." He nodded, he couldn't find his voice at the moment. Mary opened the door, guiding him through a complicated series of hallways. She finally turned and opened a door.

"Dietrich...may I borrow some of your clothes?" They had entered a large beautifully furnished room. It held many shades of red, gold, and black scattered everywhere. A large painting of a golden haired angel hung from a wall, the wall opposite of that was made out of pure steel, some of the large drawers were open while others were closed.

Alec wrinkled his nose when he took in a deep breath. The room reeked of a mixture of staleness and decay. A boy's voice rang out from a doorway. "Whatever for, Isaak? I KNOW you can't fit in them." The sound of footsteps echoed after that, the owner of that voice poked his head out of the doorway. The boy stared at Alec for a while.

" Isaak...you've brought your lunch home with you?" Mary glared at the angelic brown-haired teen. " I'll have you know that he ran into me, and he's soaked...can't you lend him some clothes for a little while?" The teen, Dietrich, snorted. " Sure, sure. Get it yourself, Sister." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"I will, brat." Mary hissed at the boy. Dietrich let out a indigent squeak, disappearing from view. Mary strode over to a rack, where large folded bundles could been seen. "Let's see....no..eh, it'll work." She murmured, picking out random things from the large stack.

"Here." She said, tossing Alec the clothes she had picked out. "There's a bathroom across the hall." Alec, nodded turning around and typically tripping over a small object on the floor. Mary winced, but the second he closed the door behind him she pratically flew into the doorway where the boy had disappeared.

"Do you have to bad-mouth me every chance you get?!" She hissed, her voice was extremely deep. The boy roared in laughter. "Why, yes I do. It's my job, Isaak." Dietrich glanced behind him at Isaak. He grimaced. "Would you atleast hide from veiw or something? Seeing YOU in a dress in making me sick to my stomach."

Isaak smirked, showing a pair of glittering fangs. " Why would I do that? I'm rather comfortable thanks. Besides, Lord Cain wanted me to spy on the Vatican." Dietrich gave the dress-clad man a glare. "I know that...hold it." Realization dawned on the teen's face. " Was that the pope?!" He shrieked, whirling around to face Isaak.

Well, he attempted to. His arms which were about elbow deep inside a cadaver, stopped him from doing so. Dietrich let out a sqwark, one of his feet twisting, causing him to fall, and...his face landed square in the cadaver's open chest. He sputtered, before screaming over Isaak's laughter.

Meanwhile, Alec had dressed himself, feeling slightly weird in the baggy clothes, opened the door to the other room when a shout of, " ISAAK, YOU BASTARD!!" Blasted his eardrums. He blushed at the harsh language. The nun sprinted out of the room, laughing rather insanely.

Dietrich was close behind, his face and arms were soaked in blood, he sent the nun a death-glare. "You...ugh..." Dietrich stormed back into the other room, slamming the door shut with force. Alec stared at the closed door. Isaak looked up, trying to stop from laughing. "Oh...you're done. Well, let's get you back then. Come along."

Isaak walked up to Alec, smiling at him. His eyes widened when he saw the familiar pointed canines of a vampire, he tried not to show it though. "Um...t-thank you, sister."

When they finally made it back to the Vatican, Isaak stopped outside one of the many side-gates. Alec started to continue through the gate, but Isaak snatched Alec's shoulder and whirled him around. " I hope to see you again, Alec." The vampire murmured, he bent forward kissing Alec on the cheek.

Alec blushed a bright crimson, turning around and running back to the vatican. Isaak shook his head, chuckling slightly. Why was it that the meek ones had the most attractive power? Ah, well, he thought. He could always come back and torcher the poor pope later.

A few days later, at a large extravagant table, a beautiful angelic blond man laughed profoundly. "That;s quite a tale Dietrich...can you prove it?" He asked raising a eyebrow at the brown haired boy. "Wha..of coarse! Where's Isaak then?!" Cain chuckled. "Isaak is out on a personal visit to Korea. He's been there for weeks. Are you sure you didn't dream it?"

Dietrich stared at his Lord Cain. "He's been in...I KNOW he was here! Lord Caaaiiiinnnn!" He wailed, causing Cain to chuckle, and continue to eat his meal. The doors to the dining room opened, a tall black haired man entered, his hair was pulled back into a braid. " Good evening Lord...ah, Dietrich you're here too." Dietrich looked at the man, getting slightly mad if his face was anything to go by.

"Isaak! Tell Lord Cain what you did earlier!!" Isaak blinked. "What I did? Dietrich what are you talking about?" Dietrich let out a scream of annoyance, walking past Isaak. Isaak turned around to watch the boy walk out, rubbing his neck as he did so.

Dietrich turned around as he reached the door, to glare at Isaak only to blink. Isaak was smirking profoundly. "Ha! I knew it!! Lord Cain! You have GOT to belive me!!" After a few moments of silence, Dietrich turned around to walk out of the room. "Forget it!!! If Isaak turns out to be one of those pedophile types don't say I didn't warn you!!"

Cain chuckled. "Well, Isaak? Did that sentence make any sense to you at all?" Isaak stood there pondering it for a moment. " No, my lord it didn't. Me? In some secret relationship with the POPE? Absolutely preposterous." Cain nodded, motioning for Isaak to sit down. "Then eat, you must be tired." Isaak bowed to Cain. " I'm sorry my Lord, I believe I'm going to rest instead." Cain said gently, "Very well. I shall se you at a later time my servant."

Isaak bowed once again, before turning and leaving. Cain grinned. " When on earth will Isaak learn that he's a terrible liar? He wasn't even here to know that Dietrich thought he was with the Pope. Hmm...ah, well. This might be interesting after all."


	2. Pope, Protector, Miss, and Angel

Hello all! After I saw the response from you all, I decided to extend and finish this fic. ^^ It'll be much longer, hopefully. And due to the prodding from MissDigitalNinjaDuelist there is now more couples being included. (Including a few of my personal favorites…)

So, I hope you all enjoy this next installment!

Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood. Just my 'Sister Mary Isaac' cosplay. No, really…I did one.

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Alessandro sighed, fidgeting with his fingers and staring out at the streets of Rome that passed by. He was seated in a car, Brother Petros sat beside him, and he had donned his complete armor making him more or less the most uncomfortable man on earth.

Atleast it LOOKED uncomfortable to Alessandro. Maybe it was very comfortable, he didn't know. He didn't wear armor; even if he did…he still didn't think that he would like it.

He turned his gaze back to the streets, squinting his eyes to see through the rain splattered-window. No one was standing on the streets, the pouring rain saw to that. Despite it all…he liked the rain.

Rain was comforting. Maybe that's way he usually chose to run off during the spring-showers. He paused as he remembered meeting that kind nun and strange boy the last time. He could feel a slight blush begin to grow on his face and shook his head slightly.

No, no. The Brother would be amused and poke fun at him. Not in a overbearing way, but a friendly way. Brother Petros had been a 'loyal' follower of his for nearly as long as he could remember. Even when he was little he could distinctly remember Petros playing with him while on duty.

He honestly considered the Brother to be a well, brother. Much more of a brother then his own flesh and blood one was. Brothers were supposed to have fun together; at least he saw it that way. His Honorable Sister would play with him when he was little but as he grew and politics became more of a focus that bonding had ceased.

Alessandro missed it. He missed it A LOT. He also wanted to see that sister, Mary, again. But that was a different story entirely. He honestly didn't know what to think about the 'vampire' sister. If Caterina or Francesco found out…he'd be doomed. If Petros found out he'd be doomed AND Mary would be torn limb from limb.

Either way it wouldn't be pretty. As he focused back on the streets he took notice of a small bakery. It was tiny, barely enough room for Petros to walk in without filling the room.

He felt a gasp escape from his lips as he saw a very familiar black-laced umbrella. The long black hair was obviously Mary's. He was ecstatic! "B-Brother! C-can we stop at th-that Bakery please?" Petros laughed, his booming voice filling the car. "But of coarse we can! It would be an honor to treat you to a treat, your Holiness! Stop the car please."

The driver in front nodded, pulling over to the curb and placing it in park. Alessandro wasted no time jumping out of the car and racing into the shop. Petros laughed, and followed suit.

Alessandro raced to the long black hair, stopping just short of running into it. "M-miss Mary?" The figure turned around, and sure enough, God must have been listening because it was the nun he met the weeks previously.

"You're Holiness." She purred, doing a minuscule curtsy. At that moment Petros took notice of the Pope's shining face, he was for all the world beaming. He then glanced about, seeing no one but the shopkeeper, the woman the Pope was obviously entranced with, and…a pale blonde-haired man.

This man was the definition of beauty. Pale golden hair, slim-figure, aristocratic shaped face, and the oddest shade of blue eyes. They were odd because of the softest glow emitting from them, if not for the glow they would have been simply a bright shade of sky-blue.

He was wearing a very simple white tailcoat suit; a matching hat was clasped between his white-gloved fingers. He had chosen a light blue vest to accompany the outfit pulling the 'angelic' look off perfectly.

Petros then scanned the woman. Long black hair, perfectly kept. Slim Asian-shaped coal black eyes. And pale. She was paler then any vampire he had ever seen. She had a slim almost man like shaped face.

Her ensemble didn't match the man's but it held a sense of aristocratic elegance all of it's own. She wore a dark blood-red dress that fell just past her knees. A black ruffled shawl outlined by lace covered her shoulders and chest. And…oddly but attracting enough she finished it off with a pair of shiny black stilettos.

The man then chose to speak. "Ah, Your Holiness. An honor it is to meet you in person." If Petros thought that the man was an angel before, he was completely certain of it now. The man's voice was filled with power and rolled off his tongue seductively.

'Merciful Heavens, what a voice!' His mind screamed at him, sounding for all it's worth like it was going to faint. The woman smiled, and began to speak quickly to the Pope. "So, your Holiness out for a drive around town?" Alessandro nodded a blush creeping up on his face.

The blonde man then replied, "If so, why don't the two of you join us for a tea or scone? This place has the most wonderful sweets. Don't they Miss Isaac?" Petros didn't miss the hidden glare that the woman sent the man. "Yes, they do Cain. Well?" She finished off glancing at Petros.

So, the woman knows that as long as the pope was out here she had to ask him permission. Alessandro glanced over at him his eyes pleading with him. He sighed. Why was Alessandro so perfect at that kicked puppy look? He could never say no to that damnable look!

"Yes, we can and would love to." Alessandro beamed happily. Chatting with the woman as the two men conversed lightly. They ordered their separate treats and ate together, chatting loosely.

With that Petros grabbed the Pope and bid the pair goodbye. Alessandro wormed his way out of Petros' grip and hugged the woman. "It was nice seeing you again, Miss Mary. Goodbye." And he ran back to Petros, the two getting back into the car and waking the annoyed driver out of a nap.

After the pair was certain that the other pair was gone they began to talk. Cain began giggling madly the second the two had left through the door. "What's your problem, Milord?" 'Mary' spat out darkly he voice dropping a couple of octaves.

Cain continued to laugh uncontrollably. "Why, your acting Isaak! It's positively dreadful!" "Shut it!" The now manly sounding woman hissed in return.

The two then gathered their things, paid the shop keep who was staring at the two oddly, and left.

* * *

Petros for one couldn't stop thinking about that pair that he had met. The images of the strange people floated about in his head for days afterwards. Why was it so strange? He didn't know. All he did know is that man's voice wouldn't stop echoing in his mind.

* * *

Okay, and done! So...be sure to tell me what you think! And...a question for my reviewers! What do you think of the new coupleng? (Aka Petros being almost comepletely in love with Cain's voice? XD ) It was a odd thought that hit me so...I couldn't stop myself from adding it.

After all this IS a CRACK fic! The more Crack Pairings the better!


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